Embracing your shadow self is the act of opening yourself up to the part of you that is strange and foreign to others. For many embracing the shadow self is one of the most difficult parts of the spiritual growth cycle. It requires leaving the comfort of the known and exploring the unknown while simultaneously trying to understand and control a much larger and more complex entity than you are used to. But the rewards are worth the risks when you come out the other side better and stronger.
Here you’ll gain some background and context for the concept of embracing your shadow self. I will also focus on some of the critical lessons and other experiences I have had along the way in understanding how to embrace my shadow self better.
What is the shadow self?
The shadow self is a part of our subconscious mind that we fail to recognize as our own. It is the part where we do not want to come to the surface and face our true selves. It is the part of us that is unwilling to face how our behavior has damaged our self-image and caused us to be ashamed of who we are. It is the part that is unwilling to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. The shadow self is also connected to our animal instincts and is a part of who we are that we sometimes fear.
Part of my shadow self that I have been working on coming to peace with is my desire to overwork or overcompensate for things when I know I need to relax. This comes in ways of working on my days off just to get something done or because I feared missing out on something if I took the day to myself.
Why do Fear the Shadow Self?
Most people avoid their own dark side, the part of themselves that might be considered toxic or dangerous. Instead, most people try to be better than their dark side, to be better than the person their enemies might have said they were. But the better part of themselves, the part that belongs in the light, is sometimes the scariest thing to do. It can be hard to embrace the parts of yourself that don’t fit the mainstream definition of who you are. Still, when you do, it can be one of the most extraordinary things you have ever accomplished.
This is something I have had to work on for a long time. First, I could not see myself every time I meditated, so I became obsessed with light work. Then a couple of years ago, I discovered that I was born under the new moon phase, and those like me who are born under the new moon phase have trouble seeing their own light. I wasn’t broken like I thought I was. I wasn’t dark like I thought I was. I was pure; I just couldn’t see it.
How do you embrace the shadow self?
The hardest thing to do is to embrace the parts of ourselves we fear most. Yet, the parts of ourselves that we try to lock away, the ones that we think are wrong or bad, are the most valuable and genuine parts of who we are. The only way to truly learn who we are, and to grow as a person, is to embrace our flaws, our shortcomings, our mistakes, and our flaws, our shortcomings, our mistakes. I found the best way to do this is to approach my flaws as opportunities to learn from rather than something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
Would you believe me if I told you it is as easy as just saying yes? If not, there is a reason you’re still fighting this shadow aspect of you. Everyone has a darker side; everyone has a shadow. Suppose you think about Gods and Goddesses like Parvati from the Hindu pantheon. In that case, you’ll see her as a loving nurturer who is incredibly badass. She is clever and is willing to embrace her darkness to protect the world around her. Like a momma bear, she won’t let anything bad happen to her cubs. Sometimes embracing your shadow self is as simple as deciding you are a badass and then living your life accordingly in your full power.
Embracing The Shadow Self
I went into the kitchen tummy, not feeling well and exhausted from trying to think clearly today. I saw a dark figure behind me, “can I come in?” the figure asked.
“No, go away,” I said to her. But she didn’t move.
“Is she good?” I asked the divine.
“I think you know that answer,” they replied. I wanted to let her in, but I felt scared of what she could be. After all, she was dark, not a light being.
I heard a message I had received earlier that day, “don’t be afraid of change.” Followed by a friendly reminder from my guides, “didn’t you protect yourself from allowing anyone to enter who wasn’t serving your highest purpose?”
It’s true I did! “Okay,” I said, “I welcome you. But first, I need to know who you are.”
The figure threw her veil upward to reveal a beautiful smile filled with grace and love. She looked familiar, her face and her energy. In fact, I recognized her right away. The figure was me.
How had I forgotten that as a new moon child, I’ve been cloaked in darkness from the beginning? As a result, I haven’t been able to see myself very clearly in meditation, except when in the dark.
Instant Downloads
She was my highest self, fully embodied energy, repeatedly asking to come inside. Still, I refused because she didn’t look like the lightworkers who had deceived me in the past. Now that I mention it, none of my guides looked like them. They all have very distinct features.
Even more so, the brightest light I found was a reflection of the light inside of me. I see it as a mirror, though. A light like the Sun, surrounded by vast dark nothingness of the universe.
Embracing The Feminine Flow
Not long after, I was led to a video on YouTube that talked about meditation and how you can use it as a tool to see what you’re supposed to be creating. This made me think about the creations I’ve been working on that haven’t seemed aligned with all the brain fog I was dealing with.
As soon as the video ended, I closed my eyes and dove into my question. I did not ask what I was supposed to create that day but what I was supposed to be doing. I saw a vision of me lying face-up on the bed with my arms on either side, saying, “I love you,” to myself.
But can I write today? I asked. Same vision, “I love you.”
Can I schedule something? I really think I should. Again, “I love you.”
Then I started hearing You’re Welcome by Dwayne Johnson. This is a way my guides were telling me to express gratitude for where I am right now.
So, I did it.
Understanding the Feminine Shadow
When I was done, I lay on the bed and started saying “I love you” to myself. I told my body. I thanked it for always being there for me. I said I love you to my present moment, my guides, my personality, my spirit.
I expressed gratitude for everything I could think of, and soon, my stomach started to feel better.
And you know, I know for sure it has everything to do with me embracing myself cloaked in darkness earlier. Otherwise, I would not have been led to a YouTube video instead of Netflix.
Because of the video, I was able to gain clarity with my next steps, not just for today but a strategy for every day.
Then I wouldn’t have embraced the feminine energy flowing to me. Through me, instead, I would have been trying to piece together actions that weren’t making sense to me at the time.
Lesson Learned
Sometimes embracing yourself can seem like the scariest thing to do in the world, and sometimes you fight it for longer than you realize. But it is worth every moment of having the full authentic version of yourself where you belong, inside of you.
When you understand your shadow self, you can use it to your advantage. You can use your dark self to help you learn things that you may not have the confidence to know otherwise. You can use it to help you understand who you genuinely are when you aren’t being judged by what other people think.
Now that you have the tools to start your spiritual healing journey, you can dive right in. Remember that spirituality is an interest or passion of yours, a specific set of beliefs. You’re already on the right track and exactly where you’re meant to be. So enjoy the journey and have patience with it.
“A man is whole only when he takes into account his shadow.”
Djuna Barnes
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If you’re like me, you’ve probably spent many hours trying to understand yourself and your place in the world. Card readings are a popular way to speak with your spirit guides which is why I offer a direct experience helping you connect with your higher self. If you have questions about your life direction or are just interested in learning more about your path book your appointment today.
